Cold Spaghetti

Every Monday, Paul tells me he is besieged by friends who have desperately been searching the blog all weekend for updates on the addition. Where are the pictures? The news? THE ACTION? Either Paul has become the temple to Do-It-Yourself-ers, eager to believe that they, too, can build a house, OR these are people who know us really well and understand that with us, “home renovation” and “comedy” are synonymous.

My guess is that the last category is correct. Which is why no one reading this will be surprised when I say we’re having trouble with plumbing.

No, it’s not as bad as the time we left town for a few days and a valve burst and ran water so hard and so long that it soaked through the brick, making a dripping 8-by-10 foot wet shape on the side of the house (it was totally the image of the Virgin Mary, but we didn’t get the right press involved… damn). And it’s not as bad as the time we left town, again, and another valve burst and the water ran and ran so hard that it… (yes, that’s right, it happened to us TWICE). It was a bit touching though, watching the water-disaster clean up crew help empty out the basement. Two feet of water had filled, floated, and bloated the wood on dozens of pinball machines and video games. So grown men were literally choking back tears over concern that Q*bert or Funhouse wasn’t ever going to be playable again. (The electronics were fine, the wood was ruined.)

Then there was that time in Michigan when Paul was installing the washer and we heard a pipe clank and the sound of water pouring in the basement all over the pinball machines. (Those games have been through a lot.)

Then here in New Orleans, we burst the water supply pipe while installing the hallway bathroom sink at around 12:03am, the night before Paul was about to leave on a big business trip. Best part: all of our towels were wet in the washing machine. I ended up running for sheets and t-shirts to sop up the 2-inches of water off the floor. Good times.

So, why would we even think of doing plumbing ourselves? I have no idea. Granted, we DID build a damn fine bathroom in Michigan and Paul did all that plumbing. But apparently, his talents end with 1/2″ pipes. The 3/4″ pipes on old homes (like ours) do not apply. He’s had a rough week. Still, we can claim a victory:

We DO have laundry! Paul managed to get the water working and functional… and then we heard an explosive sound from under the house. Uh-ho. So the update: we have COLD water laundry working. Hot water will come later. But a plus: Paul’s beautifully organized and thoughtful design has made it so that we can turn off sections of the house’s water — so he can work on the plumbing in the back without impacting the front. Hooray for no longer having to shut down the whole house for hours and hours!

After conversing with a couple of plumbers, Paul actually thinks he can fix the current problems. Of course I believe him. Really, I do. How can you not believe in a guy whose butt is that cute? Still, with so much left to do and time running out, we may hire a plumber friend to finish the hot water and finish the final hook-ups for the tub. I think Paul is still vested in doing the shower plumbing installation himself… stay tuned.

In the mean time… Paul built the deck for the tub (below). That’s the tub in the background.

Here’s the tub story… we went to a local plumbing supplier a few weeks ago to check out the showroom and get a few manufacturer catalogs. Loads of online research of installation guides and rough-ins follows. We made some basic choices, compiled questions, and made an appointment with the guy identified as ‘the one who knows showers the best’ since we needed to order the shower valves and trim right away. Hal was great; we hit it off with him right away, he instantly understood our level of understanding of the products and was able to help us without a blink. We got to talking in between our walking around and questions and ended up telling him our story of how we decided to stay in New Orleans and the things that we have done since committing to be a part of the city’s rebirth. At one point, I got a little choked up talking about when we realized how we couldn’t leave this place, and apologized — only to look up and see that he was reacting the same way. It was a little New Orleans’ moment… followed by another. He himself was a born-and-raised New Orleanian and was so thrilled by our enthusiasm for the city that he went into action wanting to help us. He worked out a great discount for all our products (cheaper than Lowe’s). Then, as we were showing him the tub we were thinking of getting, recalled that the warehouse across the street may have had one outside, a return, and maybe we could get it as much as half off? He called his boss. 10 minutes later, we’re in the back of the outdoor warehouse storage area looking at tubs. The initial bare-bones air tub (still a $1700 tub) was too beat up for us to really want to spring for… but right around the corner? A brand-new tub by the same manufacturer. Back to the showroom to check out the details… it’s an Amma model, a very, very, very nice tub. It was BRAND NEW… it was returned to the warehouse the morning before (contractor mis-measured). We bought it on the spot, delivered to or front room the next day for a quarter of the discounted sale price. The icing on the cake was that Hal kept saying that he wished he could do MORE, which was amazing since he had done so much for us already just by being so helpful and friendly. We feel certain that our Karma was all used up that day, explaining why the plumbing went so wrong the following weekend.
Another view of the tub deck. That knee-wall separates the tub deck from the toilet area. The shower is in the far upper area of the picture. The tub faucet will mount in the front.
Another view of the tub deck.
Here is the back of the washer/dryer. Paul built a platform for them to sit on so that there is no bending when we do laundry (exciting!) Also, Scout’s liter box will go underneath… we’ll put a little swinging access door between the two studs furthest to the left.
On Tuesday, we ordered a vanity for the bathroom… it will arrive in about 2 1/2 weeks. The question is whether we can get insulation and drywall in before it arrives… We hope to order tile next week.

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*Never buy a house with polybutylene piping (no, we didn’t qualify for the lawsuit because the valves burst, not the pipe).

We’ll be away from the kids for 20 days in May/early June while we’re in Peru. When we get back, we’re thinking of taking them to the beach for a few days for the four of us to reconnect with no other distractions.

Where: Anywhere along the gulf between Gulf Shores and Panama City. (We’ve been thinking Destin to Fort Walton Beach area)
What: 2-rooms with kitchen or kitchenette, W/D is plus (but not must), internet plus (possibly must), on the beach with available chairs/umbrellas, swimming pool

Days… 3 days between the 8th and 15th of June… we can be flexible.

Doesn’t need to be close to anything but the beach and the pool. We might venture out for go-carts or something, but mostly we’ll just hang out at the beach.

Can we find a decent place for, say, $100-130/night? We could go for a little bit more if some other things were included (W/D, free breakfast, other amenities, etc.)

Any thoughts or suggestions?

Will and a female friend, at school, speaking in their classroom:

FF: “Will, I need to change my clothes. I need some privacy.”
Will: “That’s okay. I like to look at bodies.”
FF: “Well I don’t! Would you like it if you were changing and everyone came in and looked at your penis?”
Will: “Yeah, I would!”

Paul and I have been married for almost 8 years and in that time, we have developed an excellent relationship based on great communication. For example, this afternoon, I heard Paul say to me: WE HAVE A WORKING LAUNDRY. TOMORROW, I WILL MAKE DINNER FOR NEXT WEEK AND PUT THE KIDS TO BED.

And it’s part true. He said those words. I just didn’t hear what was in between them: WE don’t HAVE hot water in the back, but we are close to having A WORKING LAUNDRY. I need to be under the house working on it all day TOMORROW, so I can’t handle WILL with me in the back. Also, I’ll need you to MAKE ahead some DINNER FOR NEXT WEEK when you have your board meetings. Remember that I’m working tonight AND you’ll be alone with the kids. I’m sorry that I can’t help you PUT THE KIDS TO BED.

This may explain why he reminded me repeatedly that he needed to go to work when I insisted he put Kate to bed. He’s a very good sport.

Similarly, when I told Paul about us having a naked salad with no dressing and chicken breasts for dinner, I’m pretty sure he only heard the words “NAKED” and “BREASTS,” which is maybe why he looked disappointed when he came in for dinner.

So maybe it stands to reason that our children do not hear anything that we say to them. Perhaps hearing the words people say takes the same kind of time and practice required for something like learning to read or riding a bike. Until they develop those skills, maybe it’s unfair to hold them accountable for their actions. Maybe it’s not that they are choosing not to hear, but just absolutely cannot hear due to a completely underdeveloped skill not yet at maturity.

So when we tell Will, “Wash your hands and sit down for dinner,” maybe then it’s not that unreasonable that he would hear “DUMP OUT THREE MORE PUZZLES AND TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS.” Or when we ask him to “Help Kate put on her shoes,” he hears “GRAB KATE’S SHOES AND RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN. THEN TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS.”

It could be a completely developmental issue. So we can stop beating our exasperated heads against the wall.

“Mommy, why did Dinosaurs use volcanoes to hold their bones after they got extinct?”

We’re having a bad day.

The stress of everything is wearing us down… we’re making mistakes and starting to crack around the edges. We’re hoping that things will calm down after the end of this week, but it’s likely that we have another 2-3 weeks of this.

We’re working hard to keep up the house momentum. It’s so close to drywall… just a few more big pushes and we’re there. We got a tub (it’s sitting in the middle of the front room) which comes along with a wonderful story. The day we got the tub (Friday) was a wonderful, bright, sunny, and life-affirming day… and it must’ve used up all our karma, ’cause we’re in a rough spot now.

I took the kids out of town all weekend (through Monday night) so that Paul was free to turn off the household water supply and work on the plumbing. He estimates that he spent at least 20 hours under the house over those days… in a space too high to lay on your back to work and too low to be on your knees. Working with a blowtorch. And sewer lines. And electricity. Still, he figures that he made off better. Watching the kids at my parents’ house is a challenge and then coming home to a house with no food or provisions is awful.

The weekend is when I work my third (or is it fourth? or maybe fifth?) job: that of housewife. It’s a role I pretty much hate; it’s under-appreciated, I have to work nights and weekends almost exclusively, and it’s much more of a challenge in a house with no washer and dryer (have I mentioned we have had no laundry for almost 2 months?) On the weekends, I try to stock up the fridge for lunches and make ahead meals for the week to minimize how much housewife stuff interferes with my professional work. I care about doing the best for my family, but I’m not a robot… I have to think and plan meals ahead, on the weekends, when I can think about it. Experience has shown us that when this does not happen, we eat crap all week. Which is exactly what is playing out for us now. And probably why we are all cranky. The tofu dish I tried to make last week bombed majorly and I can’t get back into a cooking grove. Moreover, I can’t think enough to decide what to make, what to buy to make, or how to be creative with what we have (that last category can be described as “milk, 1/2 celery stalk, and a few cans of beans”). Paul usually helps me balance these home-maintenance tasks, but is pretty much either working on the house or working his jobs. (If you think he sleeps or eats between these working hours, he doesn’t.)

I’m not exactly sure where we are going to break here, but we will break.