Cold Spaghetti

Thanks to Nana Nancy, we are maintaining the appropriate adult to child ratio of 3:2. She arrived, ready to play and help out, the day after we returned. Heaven help us when she leaves next week!

HOME!

We’re home and so happy to be here. Paul has done an amazing job painting, framing, building, moving, and everything in between to get the house ready for us. The house is a disaster, stuff is everywhere, we have no idea where to put anything, and it’s hot as Hades, but it’s home and we are loving it.

Last night, I joined my Dad for a night at the Mobile Symphony. Dad is a huge fan of symphonic music, constant contributer to the local orchestra, and never misses one of the performances on his season tickets. It’s easy to be a snob about a symphony from Mobile, but honestly, they do a good job and have a great maestro and dedicated, talented operational staff.

One of the organization’s outreach projects is a composer-in-residency arrangement where three musicians work with the symphony to compose new works that are then premiered (pretty cool!) Kenji Bunch, one of the composers-in-residence, was featured with his band “Citigrass” as part of the night’s performance, titled: “A bunch of bluegrass.” They were fantastic! They take a bluegrass spin on many songs and are a great time. I highly recommend checking them out for some seriously fun music.

Memorable moment: “We’re a bluegrass band from New York City. We do get some funny looks when we tell people where we’re from, but we figure, if there can be a world class symphony from Mobile, then why not a bluegrass band from New York?”

Today is our 6th anniversary. Paul is in New Orleans, I in Mobile, so we are celebrating in the usual style by doing nothing special. We’re pretty laid back people about holidays and tend to go more with our mood and less with the calendar when it comes to presents and celebration. Our anniversary, combined with a post by my LA friend, has me thinking about romance. People warn of the loss of romance when children and careers take hold. Have we, deep in the throws of life, forgotten about romance? Looking back, we’ve never followed the traditional romance route. Yet I think I am a fairly romantic person and love to be romanced. (Caveat: sappy sweet is NOT romantic.) So it got me thinking: what does romance mean to me?

Answer: romance is surprise.

To me, the unexpected is romantic. I am very difficult to surprise and when I am truly caught off my guard, there is nothing I love more. I find great delight in small detail… The surprise of opening the door to find fresh flowers on the table (extra points for a well-potted orchid). Waking up to breakfast in bed. Coming home to a new recipe in the oven. A gift for no reason. I’d rather have these spontaneous surprises than a planned evening of being wined and dined.

I also wonder, as my friend did, what others believe to be romantic these days.

PS: Paul, I still want us to make time for lunch at Bayona when I get home!

What a month it has been! Current update:
– No idea on weight, but I’m guessing close to 12 pounds. No idea on length, but she is stretching the seams of the feet in 0-3 month outfits.
– Nursing is going so much better. Still evidence of the milk mixing imbalance and forceful letdown reflex, but she is handling it so much better. An example of how nursing problems eventually figure themselves out when you stick with it.
– The last few nights have been dreams. She sleeps from about 10-5/6am. Because she sleeps with me, I wake up when she starts to stir and nurse her before she’s fully awake and she drifts back off to sleep. Crying is incredibly rare and seems to always be related to gas — one good burp does the trick. Hooray for common sense and attachment parenting!
– She is encountering normal 4-week old issues… baby acne and hair loss. Hopefully both will clear up soon.
– We are head-over-heels for our baby girl!

Click here to view more of Kate’s one month photo shoot.

See more of Will’s wet adventure here.

Paul is home and working double-time on getting the house in order for our return. (ETA: This coming Monday.) He’s posting pictures of his progress.

I am *very* excited about returning home, but overwhelmed at the work that awaits… a dead, overgrown yard in shambles, stuff awaiting construction of shelving, toe molding to be installed, painting to be done, curtains to be hung, an outbuilding to be re-shingled and re-faced and so much more. While we are used to being overwhelmed, it all seems so much more with two kids to wrangle.

I am unhappy with some of the things I see in Will’s normal play. He is attached to his harmonica these days (he carries it everywhere) and in play, will jab it in the air and at our legs. I think this borders on aggression and it bothers me.

More upsetting to me is how Will can physically act out when frustrated. With Paul now suddenly gone, Will has gotten even more attached to me. He is great with Kate, but clearly feels the change of no longer being the only center to our child universe. The number of time outs has increased, as have Will’s tantrums, requests for binky, and things that I feel are aggressive in his actions.

We are very clear on how we feel about aggressive acts: they are scary, dangerous, mean-spirited, and not acceptable. When other kids have engaged in this type of play around Will, we’ve taken time to explain how we feel about them and have been proud to report that he routinely walks away from this type of play with other kids. Since coming to Mobile, Will’s television and movie time has increased greatly. In particular, he’s had exposure to things that are new to him: movies. So, my thought is that maybe we are sending mixed messages. Peter Pan and Captain Hook spar off with each other, Buzz Lightyear and Woody have physical fights and are still friends … so maybe he’s learning that these things are okay. Following this train of thought, I figure that we should cut these things out for a few years. Not forever, but just until he’s a little older and we can explain things better.

So, my question: is this a reasonable approach? Or I am living in a dream world?

Further: by suggesting that we cut these things, I’ve stepped on some family toes. (Granted, I haven’t been the most diplomatic in my mode of discussion.) Is suggesting a change in the current mode of operation an insult?

Will points out the “buggie” on his bubble mower. (Having just worked so hard to “mow” the lawn.)
Granna gives Kate a night-time bath in the kitchen sink.
Skip teaches Will to strum. “Whoa,” says Will.
Will and Emily play “smoosh.” This is when Will runs and tackles you, knocking you over completely i.e. “smooshing” you. Here Emily rebounds.

Skip holds a hiccupping Baby Kate.

Will had a *blast* enjoying the pool with Aunt Emily and Uncle Skip, who came for the weekend to visit with us and meet Baby Kate.

Will is “dancing” in the picture above. (Think the “cold spaghetti” dance.)
Ready or not… here he comes! Will jumps into the water, full speed… get ready for a splash!