Sam is Kate’s special friend. For the most part, Sam is a boy. He lives on “I Love You Street,” which is in California. Sometimes California is a place far away, sometimes it’s a house a few blocks away, and sometimes it’s a secret spot known only to Kate and Sam.
Lots of people — friends, strangers, family members — have connections to Sam.  Like when we met our friend, Bryan, at Disney World a few months back? Bryan was Sam’s Daddy. The girl at the pool who played with Kate yesterday during swim break is Sam’s sister. Sam’s Mom and I also share some similarities. For example, we both have a Diva Cup. Except that mine is plain; Sam’s Mom’s has princesses on it.
It’s not strange for a kid to have an imaginary friend, so we haven’t paid Sam a whole lot of mind.
Except.
Kate is the kid who comes into our bed everynight, often because “the ghosts won’t let her sleep.” Part of her bedtime routine of tucking her in is announcing to various monsters and ghosts (most of which are named “Georgia” or “Frederick”) that it’s bedtime and Kate is done with playtime. On some nights, they are can be very persistent.
And Sam?
Sam, she’s told us, used to live in our house. I didn’t really pay much attention to this, as I’m quite certain our house isn’t in California. Maybe Kate was making a continuity error.
Oh, but also? Sam’s dead.
“What do you mean, Sam’s dead?”
“He’s not alive anymore.”
oh.
So. Someone tell me. At what point does developmental appropriateness cross into contact with The Beyond?
Is this something she’ll outgrow without exorcism?
Emmy | 29-Jul-10 at 10:34 pm | Permalink
I’m not even remotely interested in the paranormal, but think that a study of the history of the house is in order.
Georgia | 29-Jul-10 at 11:16 pm | Permalink
Wow this is intriguing! I grew up in a house with ghosts from birth to 18yrs. Feel free to snicker, but I assure you it was as real as real gets. There were 2 deaths in my parents house…a natural causes and a suicide, both occured many many years before they lived there. There was never a negative feeling or any undesirable behavior, but there were frequent “moments”/ sightings /
incidents over the years.
I agree on the house research Emmy mentioned . This is so interesting Holly!
Georgia | 29-Jul-10 at 11:17 pm | Permalink
P.s. I much preferred when she named her baby dolls Georgia. The monsters need a new name 🙂
Meagan | 29-Jul-10 at 11:45 pm | Permalink
I so wouldn’t worry about it. (Actually, in your place I’m sure I WOULD, but only because, you know, that’s what parents DO.) She’s what, 5, right? I think that’s a pretty normal age to wonder/think about death. The fear of ghosts thing is super normal. I haven’t heard of the ghost/imaginary friend combo before, but I don’t see why not. It’s even a pretty good explanation of why she can see her imaginary friend and nobody else can. And since she’s friends with him, it’s actually showing a pretty healthy attitude towards death. Maybe calling Sam dead is just her way of exploring what happens to people after death.
The only way this would be something to worry about would be if she were showing signs of depression, and using the ghost thing to express a desire for death. From what you’ve described this really doesn’t sound line the case.
laloca | 30-Jul-10 at 5:07 am | Permalink
you live in new orleans. that city is full of ghosts, from what i understand. but unless cupboard doors start inexplicably banging in the middle of the night and your TV starts zapping the kids, i don’t think that you have too much to worry about.
(this is only partially facetious. i don’t actively believe in ghosts, but i’ve seen some things over the years that defy simple explanations.)
David | 30-Jul-10 at 5:20 am | Permalink
Tell her Santa doesn’t come visit little girls who talk to the dead.
Kelly | 30-Jul-10 at 5:27 am | Permalink
I wouldn’t worry, my nephew asked us if we remembered when he was the other boy… you know the one hit by the car? Freaky yes, maybe even possible but now that he is 20 when we talk about it he looks at us like we are crazy. He doesn’t even remember.
If all else seems okay with Kate, I wouldn’t worry. If Sam starts to upset her or if she starts to withdraw from her human friends, then I might have a discussion with a professional.
Schuyler | 30-Jul-10 at 6:28 am | Permalink
At our townhouse in Ashburn, Noah constantly said he had ghosts in his closet or room. But from day one of the house in Leesburg, he’s not said one thing about ghosts. Makes me wonder about that Ashburn place. Now, he’s (almost) 4 going on full blown teenager. “Noah, why do you want to sleep in Mommy and Daddy’s room?” “My room is soooo boring!!!” “You’ve got glow in the dark stars and planets on your walls, how exciting is that?” “It’s boring!!”
magpie | 30-Jul-10 at 8:22 am | Permalink
Surely it’s to be expected in New Orleans…?
Melanie | 30-Jul-10 at 9:40 am | Permalink
I’m spooked. No advice to give, sorry.
eli | 30-Jul-10 at 9:58 am | Permalink
So I think you should try to find out more about your house. If I were to think this was her being more in tune with the spirit world California isn’t such a weird place for Sam to be. The creole and Louisiana connection in California is significant. Many moved here to escape the segregation and prejudice as well as to have the opportunity for a better life.
The Sam being dead thing might be her way of understanding that when you have a relationship with a person (real or imaginary) that is no longer there they are dead.
When I lived in VA I consistently had dreams of African American field workers when I first moved to my house. I did a bit of research and found out that my neighborhood was the far edges of where George Washington had slaves in Mount Vernon. I also learned that in the 1930s it was something of a tent city. So maybe residual spirits?.
Finally if she has ghosts that are bugging her at night, can you suggest Sam help her out?
Melanie | 02-Aug-10 at 4:36 pm | Permalink
Wow, freaky! ~ gave me goosebumps! Makes me wonder just who Sam is/was!