Middle class collection jar is full of whine.

Man, am I in a sour mood.

I want to tell my kids about Santa. Just rip off that bandaid in one quick swoop. It’s too easy for me to rely on the Santa Threat and I hate myself for it. They should act appropriately because that is the right thing to do, not because they want presents from some shadowy character.

*****

We’re facing some big financial burdens, which isn’t unusual for us but these sorts of decisions are just awful — they have to do with two of the most important things in our lives: safety and education.

Our car is unsafe, by my esteem, as it is unreliable. It is un-repaired, but we haven’t decided what to do with it. Paul is home tomorrow night (crossing fingers for no more snow delays) and then we can look at the loooooooooong list of malfunctions more closely. It’s probably time for a trade-in, but not the time to take on a car payment. Until then, we will just risk the inconveniences and potential hazards that I’ve been living all week. Car safety can’t be all THAT important, right? I mean, we don’t drive that much.

We really like the school our kids currently attend. The teachers are great, the curriculum solid, and the classes are small. The administration is attentive, helpful, and responsive. But getting these things in New Orleans is not the norm. It’s a private school and tuition is going up. A LOT. Roughly $300 a month more. The bottom line is that there are other charter schools that offer immersion education (2) and we will re-apply to these programs… but the quality of the experience and the administration cannot be matched. I absolutely hate compromising the kids’ educational experiences because of a financial barrier. So we’ve got some tough decisions. In the meantime, it’s on my plate to scramble for applications, watch dates and announcements, stress over every step, and take full responsibility for any rejection as a deep, personal flaw.

Maybe we should go back to considering just leaving the country?

Going with that theme, our property taxes have gone up. To the tune of $2400 this year, making our contribution to the city’s coffers more than I can actually write out. We continue to shoulder a much more significant tax burden based on our unlucky fate of not being politically connected.

The irony of the two: property/school taxes and tuition for the education we must buy because the one our taxes provide isn’t fit for any child — is not lost.

*****

In the interim, I still have not mailed my Christmas packages. These are the ones holding presents I’ve had for months and had wrapped since the first week of December. Maybe tomorrow, hopefully, I can get it together to re-pack and send. No matter what, they won’t get there in time for Christmas.

*****

Combined with a hundred other things, all of this has just put me in a rough mood. And the icing on the cake? Emmy sent me a HILARIOUS video to cheer me up and it did. And I wanted to use photos of my kids and post it here… my little attempt to show that I am working on the positive. What happened? Well, after an hour of trying to get the faces cut properly, the site won’t work to load the faces into the video. TOTAL WASTE. So there you go. My attempts at trying to be positive are fruitless.

Bah. Whine. Sour. Grouse.