Now that Will is out of diapers, a whole new world has been introduced to us: KIDS IN UNDERPANTS.

Even with the choices of disposables, cloth, characters, and brand, diapers are collectively ambiguous, nameless, and generic. At least they seem that way compared to the fast-paced world of Underwear. Underwear is a serious business. Kids talk about their underwear with the same intensity that they discuss treats, toy, and trips to the zoo. They announce that they’re wearing it to strangers. Give the slightest hint of interest (or maybe even not) and chances are, that little guy or gal will flash some Dora, Spiderman, or Bob the Builder.

Last week, Will spent a Saturday back in Pull-Ups because they were BOB Pull-ups. The generic pirate undies, although good for “pirate days,” weren’t cutting it 24/7. In the pushover mindset of parents who are willing to do whatever it takes to solidify successful potty training, we found Bob Underwear. Will found the box of undies the moment he came home and he acted as if he’d just stumbled upon the world’s largest vat of ice cream, bouncing around the room with infectious joy. We couldn’t help but get excited, too, “Hooray, Bob Underwear for our Big Boy Will! We’re so proud of you!!” How silly was I to think that he would be able to resist the temptation of wearing them long enough for me to wash them? Unthinkable. But I held firm and insisted that they needed to be washed first.

As a side note, parents of preschoolers need to think — and think hard — on the things they insist to their children. Intense feeling about something may raise a level of interest in said child that is not anticipated. By insisting on clothes being washed before wearing, I impressed upon Will the importance of LAUNDRY. Which is why I keep opening the washer to find random dirty clothes (read: Will’s underpants) and a huge scoop of Tide tossed in with the freshly washed clothes. While having a front loader does give him better access, visiting my parents this weekend proved that top loading machines are no matter to our laundry-helping kid. Will is so enthusiastic about his Underwear that he even will help load the dryer to move things along.
Another Underwear issue:

Me: “Will, your Underwear is on backwards.”
Will: “No it’s not.”
Me: “The picture of Spiderman goes on your butt.”
Will: “No, IT DOESN’T. It goes in front so I can see it!”

Good darn point. Who are the pictures there for, anyway? Who and what are those Underpants manufacturers thinking about when they put the pictures on the backside?? Attention: manufacturers of children’s underpants! Pictures go on the front! Children’s underpants are made for the children who wear them, not those who might be looking at their underpant-clad behinds, as noted my brilliant, Underpant-wearing child.