When is it too much benefit of the doubt??

It is my nature to always want to believe the best in people because ultimately, I believe that people are good and want to be good to themselves and each other. Just sometimes, folks are raised jerks, or have had a lot of pain, or too much privilege, or just don’t think… and they do dumb stuff.

So how much benefit of the doubt does one give before it’s too much?

Say, for example, you lived in a house that was situated 6 feet away from your neighbor’s house with the walls in parallel. And this nice neighbor happened to be a family with two small children. The kind of small that would indicate an early bedtime, definitely one that came before 9pm. If this were you, would you then think it was appropriate to crank up your amplifier — which sits next to the wall 6 feet away from your neighbor’s bedrooms — at 11pm and play until after midnight?

Would you add live drumming to the mix, say, around 11:30?

And would you do all of this on a weeknight?

It would be one thing if it’s a once-in-awhile party. It would be another thing if, when there was a party planned, neighbors were politely informed of the ensuing event. But when it’s a Sunday night and the music and drums are so loud that it you have to take breakable items off of furniture because they are vibrating so much you are afraid that they may fall off an edge and break — that’s a whole different experience.

We make excuses, think of hopeful solutions. “They’re drunk/stoned/both. They don’t realize how loud it is.” “It’ll stop soon, it has to.” “Maybe the next song won’t have as much bass.” “Maybe they’ll turn down the amp on the drum kit or put on headphones.” We turn up the sounders and white noise makers we already have blasting in each room.

We did the talking thing and were assured it would never happen again. Even got a classy apology phone call. So how do we understand the continued assault? I know we seem all uptight and about some things we probably are more responsible than we need be. But we’re not anti-party (this is New Orleans!) We’re glad to have musicians around (we miss Mitch’s band practices — almost all of which were on weeknight evenings). We’re not anti-loud anything… we just want to try to get and keep our kids asleep and manage to get some sleep ourselves. And if something is going to happen on a school/work night, or go until the wee hours on a weekend… we’d like some notice and consideration. Is this unreasonable?

Any suggestion is appreciated.