{"id":5912,"date":"2010-02-12T23:39:52","date_gmt":"2010-02-13T06:39:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/?p=5912"},"modified":"2010-02-12T23:49:02","modified_gmt":"2010-02-13T06:49:02","slug":"all-photographs-were-taken-with-an-iphone-none-involve-live-animals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/2010\/02\/12\/all-photographs-were-taken-with-an-iphone-none-involve-live-animals\/","title":{"rendered":"All photographs were taken with an Iphone. None involve live animals."},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>
\nIf you’re the sensitive type, the kind that can’t handle any sort of recognition of the fact that we all own private parts, or worse, sometimes bring them out to play, then I urge you to stop reading now.\u00c2\u00a0 Because this may press a button or two.\u00c2\u00a0 Not because I’m talking about something related to our current Carnival season.\u00c2\u00a0 Because I’m going to talk about my cat.<\/p>\n

The cat likes stuffed toys.\u00c2\u00a0 Scout has been with us for over 11 years now, since that snowy February night when he was rescued from an abandoned lot, less than a pound and only a few weeks old.\u00c2\u00a0 From the start he has been a knead-er, pushing his little paws and purring until he is content to curl up and sleep.\u00c2\u00a0 Often, he does this on a blanket or bed.\u00c2\u00a0 But when we’re not around, he likes to knead stuffed toys.\u00c2\u00a0 We’ll come home to find tufts of fuzz in a trail through the house, leading to where Scout has kidnapped Snoopy or left Pluto in a mess of polyester orange fur.\u00c2\u00a0 Making sure anything soft and impressionable is off the floor is important in our house; lest the cat decide to get cozy and half of your teddy bear goes bald.<\/p>\n

It seemed like a fairly benign quirk.\u00c2\u00a0 Then a few weeks ago, Paul and I entered our bedroom one afternoon to find Scout on our bed, kneading away at a stuffed Lady, from Lady in the Tramp, one of Kate’s favorite toys.\u00c2\u00a0 We quickly pulled Lady away from the assault and accidentally flipped Scout over in the process.<\/p>\n

He landed on his back with his belly up.\u00c2\u00a0 Showing clearly that he was very very<\/em> visibly… excited.<\/p>\n

And then.\u00c2\u00a0 With us there staring away at his little red thing pointing up at us, he started to shake.\u00c2\u00a0 SHAKE.\u00c2\u00a0 I am not making this up.\u00c2\u00a0 The bottom half of that damn cat was TREMBLING<\/em>.<\/p>\n

O. M. G.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 The cat was getting off on our daughter’s stuffed dog.<\/p>\n

All this time, and the cat was going to our kids’ synthetically-filled plushies to get laid.
\n<\/a>
\n<\/a><\/p>\n

<I know, I need a moment, too…. but I promise, just stick with me, a chaser is coming.>
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Since then, our efforts to protect the kids toys from the love, I mean loooooove<\/em>, of our cat have improved.\u00c2\u00a0 But we still find him occasionally curled up on Will’s pillow, surrounded by rolling paper with catnip scent in the air, laying a little TOO close to that Ugly Doll.\u00c2\u00a0 During Mardi Gras, the volume of throws being brought in by the kids makes it more difficult to keep the house to a PG rating.<\/p>\n

So when Will walked in tonight from the Morpheus parade, I think I heard Barry White go into overdrive in the cat’s head:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\n<\/a>
\n<\/a>
\nAs Kate would say, I KNOW.
\n<\/a><\/p>\n

—-
\n<\/a>
\nSo here’s the story of Long-Fellow (as named by Will.)<\/p>\n

It started earlier today when I spontaneous cut a piece of cardboard, painted it black, and started cutting up beads.\u00c2\u00a0 This was the result.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The sign was a huge hit with Kate at d’Etat.\u00c2\u00a0 But Kate got cold.\u00c2\u00a0 Granted, it was pretty cold out tonight, even if we did bundle the kids as warmly as possible.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Yes, Kate wore a princess nightgown over her layers and coat.\u00c2\u00a0 It was a compromise.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Anyhow, towards the end of d’Etat, Kate got a little tired and cold, so the sign went to Will.\u00c2\u00a0 I walked home with Kate while Paul stayed with Will to watch Morpheus.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

A rider passed Will a stuffed toy and Will said “Merci” and showed the sign.\u00c2\u00a0 Then, he blew her a kiss.\u00c2\u00a0 The float stopped and she melted.<\/p>\n

She motioned him over to the edge and pointed him our directly so that everyone would know that she had something for him.\u00c2\u00a0 Then she pulled out the snake’s head and handed it down to Will.\u00c2\u00a0 But she kept pulling and pulling and pulling and Will turned in circles as the snake wrapped around him.<\/p>\n

And that was how Will came home — completely wrapped up in a stuffed snake now known as Long-Fellow.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

—–<\/p>\n

Will was not the only one to take home a prize throw.\u00c2\u00a0 Kate, who rebounded after the home-visit, requested “The Girls Parade.”\u00c2\u00a0 So we piled up and went back out to take in Muses.\u00c2\u00a0 Muses was on the main parade route and had many, many more people than the previous parades.\u00c2\u00a0 It was packed!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

But.<\/p>\n

Kate got a shoe.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s her second<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Happy Mardi Gras, Y’all!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you’re the sensitive type, the kind that can’t handle any sort of recognition of the fact that we all own private parts, or worse, sometimes bring them out to play, then I urge you to stop reading now.\u00c2\u00a0 Because this may press a button or two.\u00c2\u00a0 Not because I’m talking about something related to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[100],"tags":[153,72,96],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5912"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5912"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5912\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5924,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5912\/revisions\/5924"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5912"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5912"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5912"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}