{"id":4715,"date":"2009-05-25T18:18:10","date_gmt":"2009-05-26T01:18:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/?p=4715"},"modified":"2009-05-25T18:22:10","modified_gmt":"2009-05-26T01:22:10","slug":"junkfoo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/2009\/05\/25\/junkfoo\/","title":{"rendered":"Junk Food."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In a weak moment, one where I was simultaneously suffering from poor judgment, I picked up the first Twilight novel.<\/p>\n<p>I figured, 8 billion teenagers couldn&#8217;t be wrong?  <em>Right<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p>Then, because I didn&#8217;t think it could get any worse, I picked up the second novel during the long layover in Chicago.  Because I hate myself, I finished it last night.<\/p>\n<p>And then I got smart.  <\/p>\n<p>My friends on the internets helped me find detailed plot summaries for the next two books so that I could regain both my life and my dignity.  (And yet still be able to hold a conversation with a preteen.)<\/p>\n<p>As for the books?  Addictive, sure.  But eww.<\/p>\n<p>EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW.  As in, &#8220;Flowers in the Attic&#8221; has nothing on you, Twilight!  EWWWW.<\/p>\n<p>Please, please, please, world of authors and books: WRITE A POPULAR SERIES FOR TEENS THAT HAS A HEROINE WHO ISN&#8217;T A WHINY, SELF-ABSORBED FLAKE.  DO THIS SOON.  I HAVE CHILDREN TO PROTECT!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In a weak moment, one where I was simultaneously suffering from poor judgment, I picked up the first Twilight novel. I figured, 8 billion teenagers couldn&#8217;t be wrong? Right? Then, because I didn&#8217;t think it could get any worse, I picked up the second novel during the long layover in Chicago. Because I hate myself, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[144],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4715"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4715"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4715\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4717,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4715\/revisions\/4717"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4715"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4715"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4715"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}