{"id":4373,"date":"2009-04-12T09:23:03","date_gmt":"2009-04-12T16:23:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/?p=4373"},"modified":"2009-04-12T10:12:39","modified_gmt":"2009-04-12T17:12:39","slug":"bunny-salad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/2009\/04\/12\/bunny-salad\/","title":{"rendered":"Bunny Salad"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\nToo much candy on Easter?\u00c2\u00a0 Try the BUNNY SALAD<\/strong>…<\/p>\n

<\/a>Step 1: Assemble ingredients.\u00c2\u00a0 Pears, lettuce\/spinach leaves, carrots, strawberries, cottage cheese, peppercorns.\u00c2\u00a0 A plate for your garden, peeling tool, and cutting board are also useful.\u00c2\u00a0 Note that the actual recipe calls for fully-sized carrots and cloves, which will screw you up later, so be prepared to roll with it.<\/p>\n

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<\/a>Household bunnies are optional.\u00c2\u00a0 Note that if you take one to the store, there will be a lot of pointing and giggling.<\/p>\n

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<\/a>Step 2: Contemplate safety of child’s fingers, then say, “F* it” (to yourself, please) and let them go to town with the peeler.\u00c2\u00a0 Consider counting fingers before he starts, just in case.<\/p>\n

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<\/a>Step 3: Use a knife to cut peeled pear in half.\u00c2\u00a0 Keep the stem on the end for a nose, if you like.\u00c2\u00a0 Use the peppercorns and carrots as eyes and ears.<\/p>\n

Damn.\u00c2\u00a0 The string carrots won’t work.\u00c2\u00a0 Substitute pear peel.<\/p>\n

Damn.\u00c2\u00a0 Pear peel won’t stick.\u00c2\u00a0 Neither will peppercorns.\u00c2\u00a0 Realize you screwed up.<\/p>\n

Get creative.\u00c2\u00a0 Dig some holes for the eyes.\u00c2\u00a0 And ears.<\/p>\n

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<\/a>Step 4: Get smart.\u00c2\u00a0 Use toothpicks.\u00c2\u00a0 Let the kid cut the toothpicks before insertion, he’ll love it.<\/p>\n

Pat yourself on the back for being such a Super Mom.<\/p>\n

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<\/a>Step 5: Notch that Super Mom status up a few bars by letting the 5 year old use the KNIFE.\u00c2\u00a0 The emergency room won’t judge you, you creative Mom, you!<\/p>\n

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<\/a>Step 6: Add strawberries and carrots to the lettuce patch.\u00c2\u00a0 You’ve got bunnies in the garden!<\/p>\n

(Note: if you haven’t already realized that you need two bunnies for your two children, hurry and make a second.\u00c2\u00a0 Substitute whatever necessary to make it work.)<\/p>\n

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<\/a>Step 7: Don’t forget to use the cottage cheese to make fluffy bunny tails!<\/p>\n

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<\/a>Step 8: Have your kids pose with their salads so you can send them to Mothering and Parenting websites and magazines.\u00c2\u00a0 You need to document your awesomeness.<\/p>\n

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<\/a>Step 9: Realize that your kids may begin to get that the salad is a ploy to distract from eating Easter candy.\u00c2\u00a0 Be prepared to talk up the awesomeness of the salad!<\/p>\n

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<\/a>Step 10: Reward children who eat bunny salad with Easter candy.\u00c2\u00a0 As if it would end any other way.<\/p>\n

Happy Easter!<\/strong><\/a><\/center><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Too much candy on Easter?\u00c2\u00a0 Try the BUNNY SALAD… Step 1: Assemble ingredients.\u00c2\u00a0 Pears, lettuce\/spinach leaves, carrots, strawberries, cottage cheese, peppercorns.\u00c2\u00a0 A plate for your garden, peeling tool, and cutting board are also useful.\u00c2\u00a0 Note that the actual recipe calls for fully-sized carrots and cloves, which will screw you up later, so be prepared to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[81,51,67,109],"tags":[127],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4373"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4373"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4373\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4399,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4373\/revisions\/4399"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4373"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4373"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4373"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}