{"id":371,"date":"2005-01-24T12:49:00","date_gmt":"2005-01-24T19:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/2005\/01\/24\/weird-things-parents-say\/"},"modified":"2005-01-24T12:49:00","modified_gmt":"2005-01-24T19:49:00","slug":"weird-things-parents-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/2005\/01\/24\/weird-things-parents-say\/","title":{"rendered":"Weird Things Parents Say"},"content":{"rendered":"

Now that I am a parent, I’ve found that I say the strangest things. I’m compiling a list. Here is what I’ve got so far:<\/p>\n

— His poop is getting poopier.
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— Cat food is not for babies.
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— We’re not going to play in the toliet right now.
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— Where are your pants?
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— Don’t eat the buttpaste!
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— Did you eat your sock?
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— Did you feel his butt?
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— He’s learning from the cats.
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— You can tear the cover off this.
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— Plastic bottles are the best toys.
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— Put your finger in his diaper.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Now that I am a parent, I’ve found that I say the strangest things. I’m compiling a list. Here is what I’ve got so far: — His poop is getting poopier. — Cat food is not for babies. — We’re not going to play in the toliet right now. — Where are your pants? — […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/371"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=371"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/371\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=371"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=371"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coldspaghetti.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=371"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}