Comments on: Oh, the dread. http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/2008/11/10/oh-the-dread/ Thaw before reheating. Tue, 24 Jan 2012 18:03:31 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Emmy http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/2008/11/10/oh-the-dread/comment-page-1/#comment-2213 Emmy Fri, 14 Nov 2008 06:35:07 +0000 http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/?p=2848#comment-2213 Bday parties ARE so stressful...Kevin always has to remind me that they are supposed to be fun, that the people who are coming are friends and who know what it's likely and that if I relax I'll have fun. I usually manage once they start coming, but the whole month leading up...it's stress and yes, it's all Mama's. And yet, I LOVE having their bdays at our house, and making the cake. What is wrong with me? Do I have some kind of Mama Martyr syndrome? I don't know. I'm really looking forward to Ana's bday--a small CampOut party in a few weeks at twilight (think smores and hotdogs, and kids with flashlights). Or think broken vacuums, sugar rushes, and tantrum calamities. I don't know. We're shifting to a smaller, simpler thing, and hope that the magic of just being together comes through. I'm not inviting anyone who I think I "should" invite...just kids she actually gets along with and likes being around, and some family. After talking with you about a collaborative party, I was tempted to just say...let's take a road trip to the La. Renaissance Festival for their b-days or some other experience. Maybe we should consider that next year...an event with some friends. What could be better than a day trip? Bday parties ARE so stressful…Kevin always has to remind me that they are supposed to be fun, that the people who are coming are friends and who know what it’s likely and that if I relax I’ll have fun. I usually manage once they start coming, but the whole month leading up…it’s stress and yes, it’s all Mama’s. And yet, I LOVE having their bdays at our house, and making the cake. What is wrong with me? Do I have some kind of Mama Martyr syndrome? I don’t know.

I’m really looking forward to Ana’s bday–a small CampOut party in a few weeks at twilight (think smores and hotdogs, and kids with flashlights). Or think broken vacuums, sugar rushes, and tantrum calamities. I don’t know. We’re shifting to a smaller, simpler thing, and hope that the magic of just being together comes through. I’m not inviting anyone who I think I “should” invite…just kids she actually gets along with and likes being around, and some family.

After talking with you about a collaborative party, I was tempted to just say…let’s take a road trip to the La. Renaissance Festival for their b-days or some other experience. Maybe we should consider that next year…an event with some friends. What could be better than a day trip?

]]> By: Holly http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/2008/11/10/oh-the-dread/comment-page-1/#comment-2204 Holly Wed, 12 Nov 2008 14:43:37 +0000 http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/?p=2848#comment-2204 DITTO, Liprap. We actually have a bit of a yard in the back (not big enough for a bouncey inflatable, but still a yard) but it's filled with roofing debris and other stuff that needs to be hauled away the next time we rent a dumpster. My current plan is a BYOB (bring your own bike) party around the WWI flagpole in the park. Just waiting for news on what the weather is going to be like before we commit. DITTO, Liprap. We actually have a bit of a yard in the back (not big enough for a bouncey inflatable, but still a yard) but it’s filled with roofing debris and other stuff that needs to be hauled away the next time we rent a dumpster.

My current plan is a BYOB (bring your own bike) party around the WWI flagpole in the park. Just waiting for news on what the weather is going to be like before we commit.

]]> By: liprap http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/2008/11/10/oh-the-dread/comment-page-1/#comment-2203 liprap Wed, 12 Nov 2008 00:02:19 +0000 http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/?p=2848#comment-2203 After having experienced a simple house party with a space walk in the yard and a pinata for the kids to pound, I'm sorely tempted to do that...except we don't have the room to put an inflatable anything in our postage stamp of a concrete yard. 8-( After having experienced a simple house party with a space walk in the yard and a pinata for the kids to pound, I’m sorely tempted to do that…except we don’t have the room to put an inflatable anything in our postage stamp of a concrete yard. 8-(

]]> By: admin http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/2008/11/10/oh-the-dread/comment-page-1/#comment-2201 admin Tue, 11 Nov 2008 21:10:05 +0000 http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/?p=2848#comment-2201 Katie, you rock (I didn't even think about Creole Creamery) and you've always got crash space if you need to spend some time back in the city! (Heck, our kids are the same ages, they'd clean up at Mardi Gras!) I do not believe in birthday parties for 1- year old (and not really for 2-year olds, either, for that matter). We did a party for Will when he turned 2 -- but it was mostly an adult thing, celebrating being here in November of 2005 (sort of a first-party post-Katrina thing, where we saw a bunch of people we hadn't seen yet, etc.) When he was 3, we did a small party with his classmates and I killed myself over a pirate theme because he asked for a pirate party. I swore never again. At 4, we did a gymrompers thing which was fine. We brought the food, which was a pain, but okay. We did family things for Kate's 1st and 2nd. Now that he has seen parties, it's what he wants, too... which is part of why I am resisting it even more. If I could just have a few friends over and call it a day, I'd be all about it... but that's just not an option. I'll have to look into the Creole Creamery thing...? Katie, you rock (I didn’t even think about Creole Creamery) and you’ve always got crash space if you need to spend some time back in the city! (Heck, our kids are the same ages, they’d clean up at Mardi Gras!)

I do not believe in birthday parties for 1- year old (and not really for 2-year olds, either, for that matter).

We did a party for Will when he turned 2 — but it was mostly an adult thing, celebrating being here in November of 2005 (sort of a first-party post-Katrina thing, where we saw a bunch of people we hadn’t seen yet, etc.) When he was 3, we did a small party with his classmates and I killed myself over a pirate theme because he asked for a pirate party. I swore never again.

At 4, we did a gymrompers thing which was fine. We brought the food, which was a pain, but okay.

We did family things for Kate’s 1st and 2nd.

Now that he has seen parties, it’s what he wants, too… which is part of why I am resisting it even more. If I could just have a few friends over and call it a day, I’d be all about it… but that’s just not an option.

I’ll have to look into the Creole Creamery thing…?

]]> By: Katie http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/2008/11/10/oh-the-dread/comment-page-1/#comment-2200 Katie Tue, 11 Nov 2008 20:17:46 +0000 http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/?p=2848#comment-2200 One more thing- A friend and I were discussing this the other day -- the preschools administrations/other parents sort of making us feel bad for not making a big deal about our childrens' birthdays at school. (*we have both been plagued with treatbags and invitations from other children's birthdays...)Sometimes friends/family just don't understand why we don't do the birthday thing. The truth is....If I do everything society/friends/family mandate -- sure, I might make them a little happier.....but what about me? What about my little family? it's hard to be different, too, sometimes....and of course - you never want the children to feel ostracized or different.... I think that asking Will what he wants and doing just that - will make him (and you!) happy!!! Forget the invitations, presents, decorations, thank yous, running around to please everybody, clean-up, etc. I went to a birthday party recently for a 1 year old - and the mama was frazzled the entire time. I don't think she enjoyed herself, and she isn't in one picture we took that day. by the time the cake was served - she barked at everybody to eat it. i felt bad for her -- she must have felt so much pressure to perform....and it ended up making the party less than enjoyable for her. just my 2 cents. I live in exile from New Orleans right now (landlords raised our rent after Katrina) (--why I found your blog and love it) and I tell you what - if I were there right now and it were one of the girls' birthdays -- we'd be heading to the Creole Creamery or Brocato's. and that would be it!! thanks for letting me delurk. katie One more thing-
A friend and I were discussing this the other day — the preschools administrations/other parents sort of making us feel bad for not making a big deal about our childrens’ birthdays at school. (*we have both been plagued with treatbags and invitations from other children’s birthdays…)Sometimes friends/family just don’t understand why we don’t do the birthday thing.

The truth is….If I do everything society/friends/family mandate — sure, I might make them a little happier…..but what about me? What about my little family? it’s hard to be different, too, sometimes….and of course – you never want the children to feel ostracized or different….

I think that asking Will what he wants and doing just that – will make him (and you!) happy!!! Forget the invitations, presents, decorations, thank yous, running around to please everybody, clean-up, etc.

I went to a birthday party recently for a 1 year old – and the mama was frazzled the entire time. I don’t think she enjoyed herself, and she isn’t in one picture we took that day. by the time the cake was served – she barked at everybody to eat it. i felt bad for her — she must have felt so much pressure to perform….and it ended up making the party less than enjoyable for her.

just my 2 cents.

I live in exile from New Orleans right now (landlords raised our rent after Katrina) (–why I found your blog and love it) and I tell you what – if I were there right now and it were one of the girls’ birthdays — we’d be heading to the Creole Creamery or Brocato’s. and that would be it!!

thanks for letting me delurk.

katie

]]> By: admin http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/2008/11/10/oh-the-dread/comment-page-1/#comment-2199 admin Tue, 11 Nov 2008 16:56:02 +0000 http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/?p=2848#comment-2199 Katie: THANK YOU for sharing! It really means a lot to hear examples from others who are just over it. Will (our 4 year old) has been going to others' parties -- but (at least from what I understanding listening to him) is that what he really wants is an opportunity to have a play date with his friends. I love your way of celebrating what is special... and it certainly makes me feel like I have more options! Katie: THANK YOU for sharing! It really means a lot to hear examples from others who are just over it. Will (our 4 year old) has been going to others’ parties — but (at least from what I understanding listening to him) is that what he really wants is an opportunity to have a play date with his friends. I love your way of celebrating what is special… and it certainly makes me feel like I have more options!

]]> By: Katie http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/2008/11/10/oh-the-dread/comment-page-1/#comment-2198 Katie Tue, 11 Nov 2008 16:41:43 +0000 http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/?p=2848#comment-2198 Hello! Just a vote of encouragement -- I don't do birthday parties. My girls are 4 and 2. We bake a cake, yes. And they pick the type/icing. But I don't do parties for friends/family. We always make a little time around the actual day special....but that's about it. Maybe the children will rebel as they get older. But - I didn't do a wedding either. We eloped. so.....I'm all about making the moment special for the intended person/people and letting the rest melt away. Hello!
Just a vote of encouragement — I don’t do birthday parties. My girls are 4 and 2. We bake a cake, yes. And they pick the type/icing. But I don’t do parties for friends/family. We always make a little time around the actual day special….but that’s about it. Maybe the children will rebel as they get older.

But – I didn’t do a wedding either. We eloped. so…..I’m all about making the moment special for the intended person/people and letting the rest melt away.

]]> By: admin http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/2008/11/10/oh-the-dread/comment-page-1/#comment-2197 admin Tue, 11 Nov 2008 04:07:13 +0000 http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/?p=2848#comment-2197 Thanks Shokufeh and Stacy -- I needed to hear that other Moms were over birthdays!! Thanks Shokufeh and Stacy — I needed to hear that other Moms were over birthdays!!

]]> By: Stacy Owings http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/2008/11/10/oh-the-dread/comment-page-1/#comment-2196 Stacy Owings Tue, 11 Nov 2008 00:36:31 +0000 http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/?p=2848#comment-2196 My boys turned 5 and 6 this year, and Alex's party last month was our last "party". Too expensive and too stressful. In July for Jackson's 7th birthday, we are going to have one close friend over for a sleepover or campout. Same for Alex in October. We are already talking this plan up, hoping for total buy-in! My boys turned 5 and 6 this year, and Alex’s party last month was our last “party”. Too expensive and too stressful. In July for Jackson’s 7th birthday, we are going to have one close friend over for a sleepover or campout. Same for Alex in October. We are already talking this plan up, hoping for total buy-in!

]]> By: shokufeh http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/2008/11/10/oh-the-dread/comment-page-1/#comment-2195 shokufeh Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:04:00 +0000 http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/?p=2848#comment-2195 I feel you. Which is why I'm taking advantage of this last year I can do this and doing just a classroom party for MrMan. With a special family outing on the weekend. I dread the "real" birthday party, which will certainly be unavoidable next year. It would be nice if a fence could be put around sections of Audubon Park. Good luck! I feel you. Which is why I’m taking advantage of this last year I can do this and doing just a classroom party for MrMan. With a special family outing on the weekend. I dread the “real” birthday party, which will certainly be unavoidable next year.
It would be nice if a fence could be put around sections of Audubon Park.
Good luck!

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